The Day the Clown Cried: a LEGO Batman Story
by wildcard23
Summary: The Joker struggles with a tragic secret from his past.


It was late at night. Harley and I were having a quick snuggle before bed. Sure, I had abused her in the past, but that was the old me. I later learned that we make a pretty great team.

Yet even as I kissed her, I had a negative feeling deep in my stomach.

But this time, it wasn't rage.

It was sadness.

Still, I tried my best to hide it. I didn't want to get Harley upset too.

No one could ever know my secret.

Harley slowly unbuttoned my pajama top, revealing my pale chest. She leaned down and started kissing my neck, leaving behind black lipstick marks. I panted. She was leaving me breathless.

She opened up my top a bit more, until all the buttons were undone. I still had a bit of a tummy, which made me insecure.

I shivered and blushed. "Nnngh…"

"Shh, it's okay," whispered Harley. "You look cute."

She kissed my stomach. "Just breathe. Besides, look how toned your obliques are getting."

She was right; they did look a little stronger.

"You always know how to make me feel pretty," I smirked. I gave her foot a little tickle, and then our lips met again. My red lipstick smudged on her mouth as we began to make out.

I hadn't felt this loved in a while.

Not since... _the accident._

After our sweet makeout session, I walked into the lair's bathroom to wash my face and get the lipstick marks off my torso. I dabbed some moisturizer on my cheeks. Ever since the day I fell in the chemicals, my skin's been feeling a bit leathery, so I had to keep myself hydrated.

I still felt the sadness inside me. I gave a small smile at my reflection. Even without the lipstick, my lips were still a bit pinker than the average human's.

I ran my neon purple-painted fingernails through my tousled green locks, sighing to myself.

 _Why can't I just go back to the way things were, before all this misery happened?_ I thought.

Before heading to bed, I cracked open my wallet. Inside was a small gold ring and a photograph.

I examined the ring under the bathroom mirror's lightbulbs. It was still as shiny as the day I got it.

I held up the photo. Kissing two of my finger tips, I then lovingly touched the photo, hugging it to my chest.

"I miss you more and more every day, my beloved," I whispered.

The next morning, Harley and I had a bank robbery planned, but I just wasn't my usual cheery self. So I kind of half-assed the whole thing.

"Just put the money in the sack or I'll deliver a killer punchline," I droned.

I couldn't tell who was less enthused: the teller or Harley. But they definitely knew something was up.

As we dragged the loot down the sidewalk, Harley glared at me quizzically. "What's gotten into you?" she asked.

"Just tired," I drawled. Which wasn't a total lie. I WAS up half the night quietly crying to myself. But I couldn't tell her about what was in my wallet.

A moment later, Batman and Robin showed up. Surprise surprise.

"Oh goody. Just haul our guilty butts to Arkham and get it over with," I groaned.

Batman stared at me and blinked. "Aren'tcha gonna hate-kiss me or throw an exploding pie in my face?"

I sighed. "Why bother, Bats? You always win."

Robin piped up. "Maybe we should let him down easy, Padre."

"Don't mind him. He's not a morning person," replied Harley.

"Fine, we won't arrest you. Just hand over the cash and you two won't get batarangs where the sun don't shine," growled Batman.

"Ugh, whatever," I griped. I didn't even feel like putting up an excessively comical fight like usual.

"Maybe it's the new meds," the Boy Blunder whispered.

All I could do was groan.

Little did I know that my wallet was open.

Back at the lair, I was laying on the couch, my face mashed into a pillow.

"Why, God, why? Take me instead. Just please please PLEASE bring them back..." I sadly mumbled into the pillow.

Harley sat next to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Are these yours by any chance?"

I looked up. It was my ring and the photo.

"Yes," I smiled. "They must have fallen out during the bank robbery."

"Care to tell me why you have them?" Harley wasn't angry, just curious.

I showed her the photo as she sat closer to me. In the photo was a heavily pregnant blonde woman, smiling peacefully.

"Her name was Jeannie Napier," I began. "She was my wife."

Harley looked shocked.

I pointed at Jeannie's pregnant belly. "And THAT was supposed to be my son. I was going to be a father."

Harley gasped. "What happened to them?"

"Jeannie was killed in a water heater accident, along with my unborn son." I started to cry. "Back when I was working for the Valestra mob. I lost my wife and my little boy that day. Along with my sanity, because I fell in the vat not long after."

I held up the ring. "And this is my wedding ring. I never wore it again because it brought too many painful memories. She was buried with hers. It's what she would have wanted." The tears were really flowing now.

Harley pulled me into a hug. "Oh, Jack. I'm so sorry." Harley rarely used my first name. "I had no idea."

I bawled my eyes out. "She meant the world to me. And now I can never be a dad again because no kid would want to be raised by a serial killer clown."

"Oh, that's awful," Harley sniffled. "My poor puddin'."

"I miss her so much," I sobbed into Harley's shoulder.

"Losing a loved one is always hard," Harley patted my back.

I smiled up at Harley. "Oh my doll, I would LOVE to marry you and all, but it's just too soon for me."

"You were only 25," said Harley.

"It feels like just yesterday," I sighed. "I'm not ready to marry again yet."

"It's okay. I can wait," said Harley sweetly.

"But no matter what, you'll always be mine," I grinned.

"Oh, Mr. J. I love you too," Harley replied as she pulled me into a kiss.

The next day, Harley and I were headed downstairs for breakfast with the other rogues.

Harley tried to make room on the steps for the others, but ended up rolling her ankle and tripping.

Oswald Cobblepot caught her. "Oh dear. Are you alright, Ms. Quinzel?" The Penguin was rather classy for a crook.

"I'm fine. I should have been more careful," said Harley.

"Your ankle looks a bit swollen. Good thing I always carry an ice pack with me," said Oswald.

"Thank you, Pengy. That's very kind of you." Harley held the ice pack to her ankle while she leaned on my shoulder for balance. Oswald offered her his gunbrella to use as a cane.

"Just watch those flippers or I'll slug you," I warned.

"Yes sir," said Oswald quietly.

We all gather around the table to eat. Poison Ivy had made pancakes for everyone.

"Harleen's a sweet girl," said Catwoman. "You're lucky to have her."

"Yeah," I agreed, flashing a smile at Harley. I was proud to call myself her boyfriend.

After breakfast, I held Harley's waist and led her over to the couch. "You wanna get down with the clown?" I purred.

Harley stretched out next to me. "Sure. Just be careful of my ankle."

"I will," I said. "Now let's put a smile on that face." I held her mouth open slightly so I could make out with her.

Because even though Jeannie's gone, I'll always have my Clown Princess of Crime.


End file.
